Forum addresses prevalence of suicide

BY ERIC LINDBERG
DAILY SOUND STAFF WRITER

Last year, Kevin Hines talked about what led him to hurl his 19-year-old body from the Golden Gate Bridge seven years ago.
This year, he talked about the long path of recovery: the weeks he spent in the hospital bed, unsure if he would ever walk again; the return trips to the psych ward, watching his family grow exhausted and saddened by his decline; and finally, the moment of clarity.

“I said, that’s it. I’m going to get better,” Hines said. “I decided that day I was going to change.”
Starting with the simple steps of brushing his teeth, shaving his beard and taking showers — “My roommate appreciated that,” he cracked — Hines slowly worked his way back to leading a well-balanced life. Now 26, recently married and planning to earn a degree in psychology, Hines said he is just thankful to be alive.
“Every day I wake up is a good day,” he said. “Every day I open my eyes is a good day. Every day I breathe is a good day.”
Speaking at the 13th Annual Suicide Prevention Forum sponsored by the Glendon Association at La Colina Junior High yesterday evening, Hines participated in a panel discussion, tackling the often difficult and stigma-laden issue of suicide.
Dr. Lisa Firestone, director of research and education at the Glendon Association, started off the evening by describing the common warning signs among suicidal individuals and relaying statistics that had members of the audience gasping.
“More people die worldwide from suicide than all homicides and war combined,” Firestone said, adding that in the typical high school classroom, one boy and two girls will likely have attempted suicide during the past year.
Purposelessness, anxiety, and anger, along with feeling withdrawn, trapped and hopeless, are the key symptoms, Firestone said. The key to breaking that downward spiral is to engage the person at risk, to show that someone cares and is willing to listen.
“Even just smiling at someone will help,” she said. “You’d be surprised how many suicide notes say if one person smiles at me on the way to the bridge, I won’t do it.”
But helping someone who might be contemplating suicide goes beyond just speaking with them. Identifying whether they are actually thinking about suicide is the next step, Firestone said.
Being direct, asking simply, “Are you thinking about killing yourself,” breaks down the stigma of talking about such a sensitive issue. Next, assess their plans, how prepared they are to actually commit suicide, Firestone said, and develop an action plan yourself to keep them from harming themselves.
“The harder we make it for people to get access to their particular plan, the more lives we can save,” she said. “...We’re better off overreacting than underreacting.”
Never dare someone to commit suicide, act shocked or allow yourself to be sworn to secrecy, Firestone said. Instead, offer hope and show acceptance.
Cindy Davis, director of counseling for Pacific Pride Foundation, focused her segment of the discussion on the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender population.
“None of us are immune to the symptoms of depression and loneliness,” Davis said.
In addition to the factors listed by Firestone, members of the alternative lifestyle community are often subject to a lack of self-acceptance, despair over their identity and rejection from friends and family. Creating a more accepting society is key to warding off these issues, Davis said.
Joyce Ellen Lippman followed Davis in the panel discussion, focusing on issues of suicide in the elderly community. Lippman, executive director of the Area Agency on Aging, said suicide is rising among the older population, which makes up about 18 percent of those living in Santa Barbara County.
“Very few people in their 80s are willing to admit they are depressed,” Lippman said. “We do have a great deal of depression in the senior community.”
A large cause of that is social isolation. Often opposed to living in a retirement community or assisted-living facility, elderly people may go days without a phone call or a visit. Coupled with substance abuse — simply combining medications with a glass of wine at dinner — or living with a chronic illness, this isolation leads many seniors into severe depression, Lippman said.
She advocates being a “good neighbor nag.” Visiting and calling will go great lengths to making someone feel wanted, Lippman said. Joking that although a senior citizen might consider the most important four-letter word to be “free,” she said “the more important word is hope.”
One of the original speakers at the first forum on suicide held by the Glendon Association, Joe Jowell also addressed the audience last night, his soft voice choking at times as he read aloud a short story his son had written prior to killing himself.
“I didn’t see any signs that my son was suicidal, but they were there,” Jowell said before starting to read.
The story started as many fairy tales do, with “Once upon a time.” This particular story involved an apple named Harold. Unlike the other apples on the tree, however, Harold knew something was wrong with himself, that he wouldn’t grow up to be full and ripe, Jowell’s son wrote.
“He was afraid to shrivel up and fall from the tree, but he was also fascinated with how the ground would feel,” Jowell read.
As a spot slowly grew across his side, Harold watched as the other apples ripened and were picked, along with his girlfriend. He slowly lost hope as the brown spot continued to eat away.
“One day, his dried-out core fell silently to the ground,” Jowell read. Looking up from the story, he said, “Although I don’t let it tear me apart anymore, I have to live with this.”
Jowell, a volunteer at the Hospice of Santa Barbara, told the audience that there is help for those who lose someone to suicide, including a free support group at the hospice.
More than anything, the speakers at yesterday’s event emphasized getting helping for someone in a crisis, whether by calling 2-1-1, the national suicide hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE, or even the Glendon Association at www.glendon.org.
Finding support and acceptance is what Kevin Hines said allowed him to finally win his battle with bipolar disorder.
“No matter what situation comes my way, I will never try to take my own life,” Hines said, adding, “Yesterday’s history, tomorrow’s a mystery. Today is a gift. Cherish it.”