Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tawdry politics & Prayin’ Palin

I might as well join the choir of friends, political pundits and bloggers who are all over the Sarah Palin thing like melted buttah on toast.
What aspect of McCain’s irresponsible V.P. choice has not been dissected, bisected and debated over the past couple of weeks? Everything from troopergate to specialneedsbabygate to Bristolgate and Palin’s record of inexperience to her red, white and blue bikini clad, gun totin’ mama photo have been sent to me, and to thousands of others, dozens of times by friends over the internet over the past few weeks.

I heard a statistic (I can’t prove it) that one in three presidents have died, been assassinated or been impeached, so any bookie recognizes the importance of the Vice-presidential choice, even though the role is diminished in some circles. Give me Biden over Palin any day: I can barely wait for their debate on October 2nd.
I’m kicking myself for not attending the former first ladies of Alaska tea on August 4th at the Alaska Governor’s Mansion. I was invited to accompany my friend Michael Stewart, who was married to former Alaska governor Steve Cowper, but she decided not to go. At least then I would have had first hand knowledge of whether Prayin’ Palin was breast-feeding or not. That would dispel any claims about who the mother of the latest baby is. Any why isn’t there an announcement of the baby on the hospital website? Every other baby born there is displayed with a photo and doctor information. And what woman on this planet keeps her pregnancy a secret from her friends and family for SEVEN MONTHS? The only woman I ever met who didn’t know she was six months pregnant was a drug addict. Anyway, if you are interested in Palin, check out, with poop from an Alaskan who is way ahead of the pack on all things Palin related.
I intended to begin this week’s column with a quote from California author William Saroyan, whose 100th birthday would have occurred this year. That was before Palin’s PURPORTED banned book list arrived in my email inbox that read:
“Here is a list of books that Sarah Palin tried to have banned from the Wasilla Public Library, according to the official minutes of the Library Board. When she was unsuccessful at having these books banned, she tried to have the librarian fired.”
The list, which is long and is probably A HOAX, includes such classics as Brave New World and something called Day No Pigs Would Die. With other titles, such as How to Eat Fried Worms and the every popular Harry Potter series on the list, it makes you wonder what and whom you can trust these days? I couldn’t prove this list, but that’s not the point. The point is that censorship in our library of even one book is more dangerous than sex without condoms. Time Magazine reports that Palin asked the librarian about banning books, so perhaps her pistol was cocked, but she didn’t “fire”, so to speak. Time, or some other magazine, will tell.
Anywho, back to Saroyan’s quote, which was his advice to young writers:
“Try to learn to breath deeply, really to taste food when you eat; and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You’ll be dead soon enough.”
Well, I’m good and angry. I thought Sarah Palin’s speech at the Republican Convention was downright nasty and mean. And how about all that “change” that both parties are toting now? We need change in our purses and pocketbooks, right Freddie Mae? And McCain, as noted on Meet The Press, thinks being a mayor is great training for Washington. Madame Mayor Blum, with all due respect, do you have any interest in the vice-presidency and do you feel qualified for the job?
Ms. Palin, did you know they pass out condoms with train tickets in Sweden? Maybe you need a buy a snowmobile/get a pack of condoms free program up there in Alaska. Of course Hell will freeze over before that happens.
Oh yeah, about that buttah on toast? In case you haven’t guessed, I sure hope the Republican party is toast soon. Then it will be time to feast and eat well.
Otherwise, this country is dead.

The opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily of this newspaper.

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